5 Minute Limit

 I read a story about a small town in Alabama that was known as porch city because Main St. was lined with porches filled with rockers and swings and places to sit and talk. The story went on to say an older gentleman was asked how he spent his time. He responded by saying, "sometimes he would rock and think, and then other times he would just rock."

I have a small front porch that I refer to as a two-butt porch because there is only room for two rocking chairs. I don’t really do much rocking, but what I am guilty of is entirely too much sitting, not on my porch but in my comfy red family room chair. I’ve realized lately that I’ve been sitting my life away for a good part of the last three years. December will mark three years since my hubby went into catastrophic lung failure that resulted in a bilateral lung transplant. I sat in a hospital room with him for the better part of the seven months he lived. He did not die from complications of the transplant but from cancer that he developed later. After his passing, there was more sitting. I sat and cried, sat and prayed, sat and remembered, sat and wondered how I would ever move forward. And then as I’ve mentioned in previous posts I had knee surgery and, you guessed it I sat. 

So recently I’ve decided I can’t just sit, soak and sour the rest of my life.  I heard someone say if you quit moving you start dying. Well, that’s not an option. Problem is, the knee pain is real and after a little while on my feet, I usually need to sit down, however, I don’t just sit for a quick rest. I sit and surf. My hubby used to say to me, “you just like to look stuff up.” He was absolutely right. Anytime I have a question about something my first thought is to Google it, and next thing you know that leads to another thought, which of course I Google and then to another until pretty soon I’ve taken a long trip on the information highway all the while lost in cyberspace as I sit. 

That brings me to the title of this post, the 5-minute limit. In my quest to change this habit I’ve decided to limit my breaks to 5 minutes. The first time I tried it after setting the timer on my phone for the allotted number of minutes I was stunned at how fast it went by. I barely had time to check Facebook and time was up. Have I cheated? Yes, I have. Will I have to to do some tweaking to my plan. I probably will. It’s a starting point. I believe one of the most wonderful things about retirement is time. When most of us worked we longed for more free time and now we have it. Retirement time is free no matter what your budget is. I just don’t want to waste it. Sitting is fine but we have to keep moving. So wish me luck and I’ll let you know! 

Hubby enjoying reading in one of the front porch rockers after his transplant. 

What If

I was reprimanding myself this morning about not exercising. I have a good excuse for being unable to do some kinds of exercises but there are plenty I can still do with one bad knee and a new knee that’s not fully recovered. Living alone I have two options when it comes to having a conversation. I can talk to the dogs or I can talk to myself. I do both but since it wouldn’t have been very productive to fuss at the dogs about my lack of discipline I said to myself, Sherry what if you had been doing these exercises all along. My response was a big sigh followed by that feeling of I’ve blown it again, I’ve wasted all this time, what the heck is wrong with me. All of that started a discourse in my brain about those two little words, what if. My first thought was I hate those words followed by a hesitation and then a wait a minute. Yes, I thought what if I had, but hold on a minute, what if I do?

I believe those two words are not so little when it comes to retirement. If we allow ourselves to get caught up in all of the what if I had of’s it can cause a life filled with regret and remorse Sure, what if we had saved more, spent less, eaten right, exercised more and a million other things we could have done better. I think the better question to ask ourselves is what if I do? What if I learn to cook healthy foods, start a little exercise program, do that thing I never had time for or just took time to enjoy what I already have. We often hear about not getting caught up in the have nots but I would say it’s equally important not to focus on what life would be like if we had done certain things but instead focus on what it’s going to be because of the what we can and will do. 

Every morning of our lives we are faced with the what ifs. We can ask ourselves what if I had, which often leads to regret that leads to discouragement that many times zaps us of motivation. You know the feeling, what’s the use? Or we can ask ourselves what if I do which leads to possibilities, hope and energizes us to give it a try.

I love this quote. “If the path you’re walking on seems to be leading you to nowhere, stop and choose another. It’s never too late to change direction.” C.S. Lewis said, “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” What if we set that goal today or dream that dream? What if we try something new? What if we finally tackle that project we have been putting off forever? What if it turns out wonderful? The possibilities are limitless! Let’s give it a try!

A Week of Country & Classy

This evening will be the first one in almost a week that I will not be out on the town, so to speak. The activities actually started at home last Wednesday. A women’s small group meets at my house on Wednesday nights and this past week was our last official meeting for the year. We will get together once in November or rather they will since I will be out-of-town and then once in December for a Christmas party. Currently there are 18 women in our group who love to talk and laugh so Wednesday nights my house is full of life. I love it!

Thursday night was dinner at Olive Garden with friends followed by a movie, More than Funny with comedienne Michael Jr. It was a much-needed time of belly laughter and laughing till you cried. He’s a funny guy.
 

Friday night actually got canceled, or rather I decided to sit it out at home. We had rain, lots of rain, all last week in Texas. I had plans to go to the high school football game where two of my grandchildren play in the band. It was homecoming but sitting in the cold and rain didn’t really appeal to me so instead I stayed home and watched a cute and clean movie, In-lawfully Yours, on Netflix. If you like cute, clean, feel good movies you’ll like this one.

Saturday night I went to church and then out to dinner at Cracker Barrel with friends. There are four of us that have eaten together there after church for almost 20 years.  We laughingly call ourselves the Cracker Barrel gang. In the beginning there were seven including me and my husband, two other couples and a widowed friend. A lot has happened to our little group through the years. The wife of one of our couples passed away as did my husband. As time went by her husband quit coming. One friend had a stroke, but he is doing well. So now it’s usually just the four of us. We’ve never gone to a different restaurant and haven’t grown tired of the menu yet.

Sunday night was our church Volunteer Banquet. It was a night of

glitz and glam at a local country club and tons of fun. The theme was semi-formal black and white. I took advantage of the opportunity to wear the dress I purchased for my daughter’s wedding earlier this year. The food was delicious and there was a great band. Everyone received a nice leather journal engraved with our church’s name. I can’t wait to write in mine. My hubby and I loved to dance so watching instead of being on the dance floor was a little hard but it was a great evening. 

Monday night I was back at Cracker Barrel having dinner with another women’s group a friend and I’ve co-led for over 10 years. We call ourselves the Dining Divas and meet once a month at various restaurants. We choose a different one every month. There were 7 of us there last night. We shared lots of laughs, comforted some of the ladies going through difficult times and celebrated one of the Diva’s recent retirement. It’s nice to have friends to go through life together.

Retirement life is full. Mostly it’s full of friends and family, laughs and tears and joy that comes from things money can’t buy. I may have to budget carefully and watch what I order when going out to eat but its’s not the food after all that you remember but the stories and laughs shared with friends. Today I’m feeling grateful and blessed and admittedly a bit tired. I’m ready for a quiet evening at home.

Beary Good Company

I have some "beary" good company this morning. My Wednesday night ladies group did a fall outreach. We chose our children's hospital prayer bear program. Every child that goes to the ER or is admitted receives a bear that has been prayed over from the one of the chaplains. It was such a fun outreach but not without challenges. Turns out bear hunting was harder than we anticipated. Stores don't seem to stock very many stuffed animals this time of year. Our ladies were determined though and bought every bear they could find. I love teddy bears and especially those on a mission!

Even Though We Ain’t Got Money

There was a popular song way back in the day called Danny’s Song by Kenny Loggins.  The most well-known lyrics of the song went like this: Even though we ain’t got money, I’m so in love with you honey, everything will bring a chain of love. In the morning when I rise, you bring a tear of joy to my eyes and tell me everything will be alright.  

I couldn’t help but smile while listening to the song again. My late husband, Lawrence, always told me when I went shopping, money is no object. I would laugh and reply, yes that’s true, we don’t have any so it’s really no object. It wasn’t that he didn’t earn a fairly good living because he did. It was just that with 6 kids, 5 of them being boys, they pretty much ate up a big chunk of our income. I guess you could say they really took a bite out of a dime. Sorry I couldn’t resist!

Because our budget was spread pretty thin some things we either had to do without or figure out how to do it ourselves. I wanted the kids to have great birthday parties, so I learned to decorate cakes and throw some awesome DIY celebrations. To this day I don’t believe they ever felt deprived because they were part of a big family. On the contrary they all say you haven’t done Christmas until you’ve done it with our family. As time went on and the kids grew up and left home money wasn’t so tight anymore and it became easier to purchase ready-made rather than making it myself. Until recently that is.

My only daughter is expecting a little girl in November. She and her hubby currently live in North Carolina but came to Texas last month for a visit and some of her friends gave them a baby shower while they were here. I told them I would help with it and set out to come up with some fun decorations. I was asked if someone was making a diaper cake for them to which I replied, not that I know of and I certainly don’t know how. Well what do you do next? Look on Pinterest of course and my daughter in law found not only a diaper cake but a jeep diaper cake. For those of you who may not know what a diaper cake is, it looks like a cake, but it’s made out of diapers and baby things. The dad to be is a huge Jeep guy who owns one and my immediate response was, oh they have to have that. My next response was no way when I saw the price was $130.00.

I recently wrote that DIY has an entirely different meaning to a widow. We have to learn to do things ourselves that we did as a couple. Some are just little things like for me bringing in the groceries or making the bed. We shared those chores along with meals and dreams and laughs and life. But there are other reasons to be a do it yourselfer and one of those is money. It seems I’ve come full circle on this one. It’s not that I can’t have some things, but it just may take a little effort on my part. Although in retirement I ain’t got money what I do have is time and You Tube. So, I proceeded to find a diaper jeep tutorial and did it myself. Not only was it affordable this way but it was fun. I was inspired to make several other decorations and had a blast while doing it. You know what else it gave me confidence. I can do this. I can make it work. Even though I ain’t got money everything will be alright. 

Wakeup Call

One of the benefits of retirement is that if you choose to you can sleep in. Most days there is no reason to set an alarm or get up early, whatever that means to you. It’s a nice perk I guess but as a morning person I find myself climbing out of bed before it’s daylight. The deciding factor for me goes like this, lay in bed or drink coffee? Coffee wins out every time. It may have something to do with the fact that my mother never, and I mean never, allowed us to sleep late. She had no grace for what she called, “laying up in the bed all day” or unmade beds past daylight. Whatever the reason I’m a morning person and retirement hasn’t changed that.

It’s true that I’m usually in my comfy chair with coffee in hand before sunrise but in another way, I feel like I’ve been sleeping for a very long time. Remember the story of Rip Van Winkle? He fell asleep in the mountains and woke up 20 years later. Now that’s a nap for you! I told a friend just yesterday that I feel like I’m waking up after 2 years. It’s been two years since my husband of thirty-six years passed away and, in a way, it feels like I’ve been sleep walking all this time. Just recently it seems my eyes opened, I yawned really big, looked around and thought where have I been and what have I been doing? Wow, what a wakeup call.

Sometimes fairy tales come true, but this has been no Sleeping Beauty story. I didn’t fall asleep to be awakened by my handsome prince. No, my handsome prince went away forever, and I cried myself to sleep and slept for a very long time. You can’t sleep forever though, not even when you are retired. Eventually you wake up. It may be to a new reality, like retirement, but it’s your life and it’s real and as in all life it can be really good.

Your story may not be the same as mine but after reading many blogs and articles about retirement there seems to be a sort of naptime in the beginning for everyone. To me that makes perfect sense. We take naps because we are tired. Of course, we are tired. Some of us have been working almost all of our lives. Naps refresh our energy. Some of us need a good power nap because we’ve used up just about all the power we had. A nice nap can clear our minds, refresh our souls and help us see things in a totally new perspective. Naps are good and much needed and just may be the first thing we need to do after we retire.

Your naptime may last a month, several months or a year. Eventually the wakeup call will come. I’m awake now. What do I want to do? Notice I didn’t say what should I do, what do I need to do, what do I have to do but what do I WANT to do! I keep hearing the words to a recent popular song, tell me what you want, what you really, really want. Truth is I’m not sure of the answer but I’m excited to find out. One thing is true, my retirement is limitless!

Retirement One Year Later

This month I reached my first year anniversary of retirement. This July I reached my second year anniversary of being a widow. To describe myself as a retried widow is definitely not something that would have ever crossed my mind, retired yes, widowed no. Yet here I am, where ever that is. Here are some of my thoughts on retirement one year later. How is retirement life?

My first answer would be it rocks! I can get up when I want and go to bed when I want. I can wear comfy clothes every day. I can pretty much do whatever I want, whenever I want. There are no meetings, processes, deadlines and spread sheets to manage. The only pressure on me is what I put on myself and I'm finally getting used to being kind to me.

My second answer would be retirement stinks! I would say it sucks but I don't usually use that term so I'll say sometimes it stinks, at least for me anyway. Finding something to do can be harder than you think. I should rephrase that to finding something you want to do can be harder than you think. I have plenty to do but that doesn't mean I want to do it. Remember when you thought that if you had enough time you would clean out all those closets, drawers, cabinets, the garage and/or that shed out back? For some of you that might be the case but for me I'm not that disciplined yet. On top of that I've been in pain the entire year and am just now recovering from knee surgery so that's been my excuse. There I go with the pressure on myself again. Retirement can be lonely if you are single or widowed. My entire life has been filled with people including my husband, 6 children, and 17 grandchildren not to mention that I worked in ministry which equates to people, people, people. Most of those people are still a big part of my life and for that I'm very grateful but as it should be they all have busy full lives and are not part of my daily routine anymore. Days can be downright boring and lonely sometimes. I've learned a lot in this first year of retirement. Most of the fears I had in the beginning were completely unfounded especially about finances. I'm amazed at how little it takes for me to live on these days. I've always loved saving money and finding a bargain. With six children that's pretty much a way of life that is serving me well now. I've learned that I have a lot to learn about myself. Through the years my life has been about my family and others and to be honest I never gave much thought to what I liked or disliked or wanted. What a unique and challenging concept that is. I remember going to the store to buy groceries after my husband passed away and ended up leaving empty handed. I have always based our meals and stocked the pantry and fridge based on what my family liked to eat. I was almost panic stricken as I realized I didn't even know what I like to eat much less how to cook for one. It's been a year of exploring Netflix and other things that were here for my families entertainment. I learned to binge watch and enjoyed 10 seasons of a series I'd never even heard of.

I think most of all I would say that I feel like I'm just getting started in this whole retirement thing. My desire is that a year from now I can look back and say retirement rocks, period! With another knee surgery in the future I know there will a few more boring days but now I know how to binge watch and how to get free books from the library so I'll be ready.

I'm looking forward to sharing my adventure with you. Thank you for stopping by. 

READY OR NOT. Retirement here I come.

 There are many turns in our lifetime. Some are are slight curves, some are planned turns and occasionally there are those annoying detours. In December of 2015 my life took a turn. It was more like a roadblock that would lead me in an entirely different direction than I could ever have imagined. One minute I had an amazing life, the next started a chain of events that would end with life as I knew it being completely gone. Never did I dream that I would wake up on a September morning less than 2 years later wondering where am I and what happened to my life?

I had the most amazing life. My wonderful husband, Lawrence, and I were married 36 years. We had a great marriage, had raised 6 children, were blessed with 17 grandchildren, yes 17, and were enjoying our empty nest. Life was good. Lawrence had been diagnosed with a lung disease but we were assured by the doctors that he was doing great and it would be many years before it became serious enough to consider drastic treatments or a lung transplant. We both had good jobs we enjoyed, a great social life with many friends and were involved in a great church. After raising 6 children which took every dime we made we were just beginning to seriously start retirement planning. Late but better late than never, right? But then came a life changing turn of events that would lead to my husband's catastrophic lung failure, a bilateral lung transplant and just when it looked like he was going to make it cancer appeared and ravaged his body. He would only live 2 months.  

I remember sitting in my husband's hospital room once we knew without a miracle he would not make it and thinking to myself, I'm going to end up on the street. I was very calm and had no fear. You see I was not the breadwinner for our family, he was. I remember thinking to myself I am going to lose everything we have. It didn't really seem to matter all that much to me at that moment but it seemed like the reality of the situation. But God wasn't finished working miracles on my behalf. 

My husband passed away on July 6, 2016. During the next year I learned how to do "Life without Lawrence" as I wrote about often. Part of that life was living only on my income and to my surprise I did it quite well. I was amazed at how much lower my expenses were. I soon began to relax and tell myself  I'm going to make it after all. But then came another turn. One year later in July 2017 my position at the job where I had worked for 20 years was retired. Another turn but this time a complete rerouting as Siri would say. My husband had died with pretty much no retirement. I was retired with no retirement. Ready or not, retirement here I come. This blog is about my limitless retirement on a limited income. I believe I'm not the only one who wasn't quite ready for retirement or had to retire on less than they would have liked. However I believe we can have an amazing life no matter what the circumstances. At least I'm going to try. I invite you to share in my journey. Lets see where it leads!